Why is it so easy for us to judge someone others in how they live their lives? When you are judging someone or even judge yourself it results in the other person or yourself feeling bad, ashamed or guilty about the deed or act.
Who gave us permission to judge ourselves and others?
Let’s take a look at how society judges women in particular. Women are judged for the way they look, the way they dress, what they say and what they do. If a woman has many different sexual partners she is labelled a whore? When men do it they are seen as scoring. Both men and women are quick to judge and label women whores. Why?
Which brings me to prostitution and how people have made women to feel guilty and ashamed because they offer their bodies for sex in return for money. I’ve met 3 types of prostitutes in my life, those who were forced into it, those who do it because they are supporting families and children and others who do it by choice with a goal in mind.
Sometimes I wonder who has the last laugh. I asked a male friend the other day as most men are surrounded with friends and co workers who are engaged in pornography, strippers and prostitutes. Which is worse? Your male friend paying for sex or my friend, the prostitute getting paid by your friend to have sex? I know, I know, both are bad but the sad reality is, this is the world we find ourselves in where women in general are the prostitutes and the men are the ones paying for sex, yet women have been given the bad wrap. How and why? I don’t know, maybe fear and jealousy?
As I pondered further in relation to the institute of marriage, marriage historically was about binding women to men and women becoming men’s property in order to sanction sex and validate offspring. One did not marry for love. Marriage has evolved since then but all in all it was about the oppression of women and women being sold of for sex and child bearing. The sad truth is that even though marriage has evolved, there are still many cultures in the 21st Century who still treat women as property.
So if women are being trafficked and sold for sex and child bearing, why the harsh labels? Why must they be labeled as whores or prostitutes? Why do both men and women judge people who offer sex for money?
Do you know the reason why someone is a prostitute? Who are you to judge? What skeletons do you keep in your closet? Do you participate in porn, watch strippers? How about other forms of sin which can be even more damaging. Getting angry, lying to people, stealing, having resistance in your heart, jealousy, gluttony are all sin. Anything that is damaging to yourself and others is a sin. Judging a prostitute for being a prostitute is considered a sin because you just made yourself superior and someone else inferior to your beliefs. Harbouring grudges is a sin. The list goes on…
Just because someone does something you don’t agree with, is it your right to judge? When you accuse someone of being a bully or being narcissistic have you checked in that you are not one yourself? How about your mom, your sister/brother? You may think you are not doing it, but the person on the receiving end feels differently.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5: 27-28
This scripture puzzled me for years because it does not only apply to adultery but to every sin possible from murder to anger, to bitterness to resentment and hatred. As I began my journey many years researching and experimenting with Quantum Physics on myself I finally understood what that scripture meant.
Quantum Physics is the study of how energy and matter works. There is an energy field and we are all connected to this energy field. What we vibrate/feel in our hearts is the signal you are sending out into the energy field. As a collective consciousness we are creating this reality by the thoughts we give energy to. If you are consumed with anger and murder and you are giving energy to the thoughts of murder and anger in your mind it has to manifest somewhere in reality. Therefore would it not stand to reason why we have serial killers or there are murders in this world?
I was raised in a semi conservative family and a religious family. Everyone around me was judgemental including myself. It seemed like that was the way to be. We judge the way someone walks, the way they dress. Their hair, their makeup, we judge their style, their race, culture. So many things all in the effort to make the person on the receiving end feel belittled and ashamed. Coming out of a religious background, I went on a party craze as soon as I was old enough to. I had a blast! Dancing on speakers, dancing everywhere, life was magical. I was working for a film company at the time and one day when I walked into the office I saw Trini, (not real name) who was working as the receptionist. She was familiar to me, in that I’d seen her in the night clubs, so we began chatting as she too had recognised me. We started being chatty and began hanging out together. We had fun and lots of it. Then one night standing outside the door of a night club I frequented, the door man politely told me that this person I was hanging out with was a “prostitute” and that I should not be hanging out with her because it would give me a bad name. I told him that he was talking BS, she was the receptionist at the company I was working at. It bothered me though and so I started to avoid Trini. I stopped calling her and taking her calls. Avoided her at work because I was a snob and if she was a “lady of the night” I can’t be seen to be hanging around with that person. One day at a nightclub I bumped into her in the toilets and she asked me flat out why I was avoiding her so I told her why. It turned out to be true and because of my attitude towards her she no longer wanted to be friends either and so we parted ways as she got angry with me and rightly so.
Due to life events, a few months later, I ended up homeless and I was desperately looking for a place to stay. No one was there, none of the snobs, none of the high society so called friends offered to help me out instead they turned their backs on me and the only person who was there for me, the person I had once discarded was Trini. She opened up her home and allowed me to sleep on her couch.
It is easy to judge others and people are quick to point fingers at others. When you are being judgemental, take a look in the mirror. Remind yourself of the things you do and instead learn to love and understand why people do the things they do.
Having worked in hospitality and having met Trini I learn a lot from these women, especially the why. I learnt many people who are in the sex worker business have big hearts. Many are damaged as they are made to feel worthless.
Let’s take a hard look in the mirror because while we judge others we also judge ourselves and often harshly. Let’s work towards being kinder to one another and kinder to ourselves. Judging others and judging yourself harshly creates the energy of “not good enough” “hopelessness” “shame” “guilt” these energies attaches to your body, like a blueprint which impacts your life on many different levels and if you are not careful and if you continue to judge others it can result in dis – ease (disease).